in short: i walked out early. Captain Sparrow spent half the time talking to himself, the other half talking to a monkey who looked more human than anyone else (was that thing for real? jeezus, shivering in the cold was legend.

jack & the gang offered nothing new, looked as if they were stranded out at sea with a camera, generator & a goat - & decided wtf, let's make a movie. they clearly spent all their charm/charisma brownie points on the first one...

however there was one or two amazing moments out of the entire 7 hour ruckus.

first, a fantastic shot of the ship coming off the dunes & into the ocean. epic.

second, there was a one minute sequence...which bore an amazing concept - concepts that draw people into movies; stir the imagination; inspire/manipulate some into pressing the self-destruct button - leave their job, pierce a nipple & shag their lives away in yugoslavia (*ahem*)....yes, the only damn thing worth anything in this movie was the moment in which they literally move from 'the other world into the land of the living'. this idea of capsizing the ship at sunset in the damned world in order to meet sunrise in the land of the living - beyond the ocean's surface - took my breath away. Of course, I had to resort to CPR with the Turkish dude next to me to survive (wait, i think we need to talk about that..). But in essence, these sequences (I am referring to the movie now) is what adventure epics are about...meandering through the waterfall into a secret world -green lush meadows, spring water, white horses & naked red indian women (big chief tit)

Anyway, that was the only sequence that saved the movie from a minus rating. Its still on the negative half of zero though.